Modern Family | Season 2

 

"The Old Wagon"

Phil finally agrees to sell the old station wagon, but only after a family trip down the memory lane; Cameron asks Jay for help when Mitchell decides to build a life-size princess castle for Lily. Mitchell's resolve to prove his masculinity ends in chaos.

"The Kiss"

After Claire finds flirty texts from a boy on Alex's phone, Claire tells Haley to give her advice, in which she tells Alex to kiss the boy, which makes her go up to the boy, and ask him in front of his friends, embarrassing him. Mitchell is having trouble kissing Cam in public, Phil works hard to fix Jay's printer, and Jay must cope with Gloria's customs.

"Earthquake"

An earthquake shakes up the families, causing chaos and comical misadventures. Claire gets stuck in the bathroom with a plumber, while Phil scrambles to cover up the damage caused by a fallen shelf he had failed to secure properly. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell use the earthquake as an excuse to avoid attending a friend's party, claiming Mitchell was injured and their house was damaged. Their plan backfires when the friend arrives to help, leading Cameron to awkwardly confess the truth, which only makes things worse. To calm the situation, Mitchell blurts out that Cameron still has unresolved feelings for the friend. At the same time, Jay refuses to go to church, insisting that God can be found in nature, which inspires Manny to skip church as well. Instead, Jay takes Manny golfing. Gloria is upset by their decision, but Manny later has a change of heart and chooses to go to church, leaving Jay to reflect on his stance.

"Strangers on a Treadmill"

Claire and Mitchell team up to save their significant others from potential embarrassment, but their plan doesn't go as smoothly as they hoped. Phil is set to host a Realtors' event and has written a speech filled with jokes that Claire finds painfully unfunny. However, she’s hesitant to tell him the truth since she’s always supported his belief that he's funny. Meanwhile, Mitchell faces a similar dilemma with Cameron, who has taken up cycling and insists on wearing overly tight and revealing shorts. Both siblings agree to break the news to each other's partners. Claire manages to confront Cameron, but her honesty leaves him in tears. Mitchell, on the other hand, chickens out and avoids telling Phil about his jokes. The truth eventually comes out when Cameron overhears Mitchell discussing the shorts with Claire on the phone, leaving Cameron upset. To make matters worse for Claire, she hides Phil’s speech right before the event, only for Phil to improvise a hilarious speech that leaves the audience in stitches—much to her surprise. Meanwhile, Haley attempts to teach Alex how to be "cool," leading to funny sisterly moments as Alex struggles to grasp her older sister’s social advice.

"Unplugged"

Phil, Claire, and the kids try to improve their communication skills by giving up their electronic devices. Gloria is getting obsessed over a neighbor's barking dog, and Mitchell and Cameron try to find a preschool for Lily.

"Halloween"

Claire loves Halloween and is gearing up to spookify the Dunphy house for the trick or treaters. Phil gets worried about his relationship after hearing about a neighbour's divorce. She gives each family member a role to play, but none of it goes quite right... Cameron can't shake a traumatic childhood experience and hates the holiday, Mitchell has had a terrible day at work as he shows up in a Spider-Man costume, and Gloria starts acting weird after Jay and Manny tease her about her accent.

"Chirp"

Claire & Haley are at home sick while Phil tries to find an annoying chirping smoke detector. The talk between them about a soap opera character leads to a miscommunication. Gloria and Manny go to Jay's work place, much to Jay's dismay and an ordeal with an employee leads to an argument between Jay and Manny. Cameron takes Lily to a commercial shoot against Mitchell's wishes, which doesn't go as per his plans.

"Manny Get Your Gun"

Everyone gathers at a restaurant for Manny's birthday when Manny has a mini-life crisis of getting older, Phil and Claire have a race to see who can get there faster, and Mitchell and Cam get stuck at the mall looking for a gift.

"Mother Tucker"

Mitchell tries to tell Cameron how he feels uncomfortable with his mom, Barbra Tucker. Meanwhile, Haley breaks up with Dylan much to Phil's dismay. Jay has a little stomach ache gets exacerbated when he and Manny look it up on the internet.

"Dance Dance Revelation"

At Luke and Manny's first school dance, Jay and Phil take them to the mall which turns disastrous, Claire's happiness turns into jealousy when Gloria joins the school dance committee. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell learn about Lily biting other kids at the playground.

"Slow Down Your Neighbors"

Claire becomes a determined neighborhood vigilante hoping to catch and stop a car that speeds through their streets. Meanwhile, Phil is busy trying to land an important listing with a difficult client, Jay teaches Manny and Gloria how to ride a bike, and Mitchell and Cameron meet a charming mysterious neighbor.

"Our Children, Ourselves"

Alex's dedication to learning makes Phil & Claire question themselves. Gloria tries to meet new friends. Mitchell runs into an ex-girlfriend while out with Cameron.

"Caught in the Act"

While Manny is away visiting his father, Gloria and Jay are about to go on vacation, but their plans are interrupted when they accidentally send an insulting email to Claire. When they go to the Dunphys' house to apologize, they find Claire and Phil in a state of dismay because their kids have just walked in on them having sex. Mitchell and Cameron have trouble getting reservations at a popular new restaurant, so they try to ingratiate themselves with the restaurant's owner, whose son is a schoolmate of Lily's, but it does not go according to plan.

"Bixby's Back"

Claire and Phil decide to reprise their role-playing adventure from the previous year, only for something to go wrong in the hotel; Jay's elaborate Valentine's surprise for Gloria keeps getting held up; an admirer comes between Cameron and Mitchell.

"Princess Party"

The guest list for Lily's princess-themed birthday party gets a little out of hand when Mitchell decides to invite his mom, much to Claire's dismay, and disinvite Fizbo, much to Cameron's dismay. Things get even more strange when DeDe (Shelley Long) shows up with Claire's old high school boyfriend (Matt Dillon) in tow, and Jay and Gloria each turn to their own unique methods of dealing with having to see Dede.

"Regrets Only"

Phil and Claire had a huge fight and Phil hasn't a clue as to what it was about, so Gloria steps in to counsel Phil and Jay takes Claire out. Meanwhile, Jay may have some regret in buying Gloria a karaoke machine, and Cameron is in full prep mode for a huge fundraising event and enlists help from Mitchell and Luke -- which might not be the best choices.

"Two Monkeys and a Panda"

While Claire runs herself ragged trying to play peacemaker with Haley and Alex, Phil sneaks off for a nice relaxing day at the spa. Meanwhile, Gloria is horrified by Jay's morbid plans to purchase two primo side-by-side crypts in preparation of the inevitable future, and Cameron decides he wants to write a book that celebrates the fact that Lily is adopted -- however, during the process he unearths artifacts that are quite disturbing.

"Boys' Night"

Phil and Claire are fearful when they find out that Luke has befriended their old neighbor, Mr. Kleezak, but they try not to be judgemental. Jay tries to avoid sitting through a symphony concert with Gloria and Manny, and ends up in a bar where Mitchell and Cameron are having a "boys' night out" with their gay friends, while Haley is babysitting Lily. Mitchell is surprised to see a different side of Jay.

"The Musical Man"

Cameron takes control of the spring musical at Luke and Manny's school, while Jay's brother pays him a visit with a shocking secret, and Phil tries to get the family to be in his new real estate advertisement, though it does not turn out the way it should have.

"Someone to Watch Over Lily"

Mitchell and Cameron are looking to assign legal guardians for Lily in case anything were to happen to them, and are secretly assessing their family members. But no one is blowing their socks off, as they witness Jay giving Manny a dose of tough love, Claire secretly taking Luke to a child psychologist to assess his development, and Haley and Alex getting into some delinquent activities at school.

"Mother's Day"

Claire and Gloria's Mother's Day excursion outdoors with the kids turns into the mother of all disasters. Meanwhile, Phil and Jay share an awkward moment after Jay finds a letter he wrote to his mom on a past Mother's Day when they stay home to prepare dinner for everyone; and Mitchell attempts to show his appreciation for Cameron by bringing him breakfast in bed on Mother's Day; causing Cameron to worry about the gender roles in his relationship with Mitchell.

"Good Cop Bad Dog"

Jay advises a dog trainer for a business endeavour, while Phil and Claire switch parenting duties of being the strict one and the cool one, much to the kids' chagrin. Mitchell has a dilemma regarding going to a Lady Gaga concert when Cameron ends up sick.

"See You Next Fall"

The whole family gathers at Jay's house before heading out to Alex's graduation ceremony from middle school, but while at the house, Jay is preoccupied hiding a botox mishap from everyone, Cameron is upset about Mitchell's habit of laughing at him, and Phil tries to sympathize with, yet also criticizes Claire on her impending breakdown over the kids growing up too fast. The family gets held back when the garage door won't open, and Phil and Claire try to get there in an unconventional way.

"The One That Got Away"

Jay wants to go fishing on his birthday, but the family insists he has a big party, leading Claire and Mitchell to get trapped in their childhood yard, Phil to encounter his college nemesis at the mall and Cameron to have trouble at the bakery when people overhear a phone call he has with Manny when he gives him advice on how to talk to a girl who's in 6th grade leading people to think Cam is something he's not and he gets kicked out of the bakery. Jay ends up having quite a different day than originally planned.